“Innocence” and “Intentions” – one follows the latter. If done innocently, and the results doesn’t live by the expectation then the innocence becomes intended and the situations turns EXPLOSIVE!
I had done things innocently, but the “after effect” of my deeds was not what I had expected!
I was shy at talking with girls and believe me till date – the hardest moments I face is when asking a girl for her contact number 😀 During my school days, I was at the top. The entire school knew me! But, she didn’t bother to know about me. And, I ended up in being a joker of her life. It was my fears of confessions and ego that ended our relation or we can say the obstacles mentioned above bought end to the awesome beginning.
Later, as I moved further in life I decided to act openly; let me follow the principle – FEAR the fear! And, I became extrovert. Talked with every gorgeous looking girl, asked for a pout selfie, and flirted to the extreme! I used to send kisses through chat and sometimes got even lucky in receiving the same – in real 😉 And ya, now asking contact number was just a 1 minute game!
I used to sit on the last bench during my college days, but my eyes always stalked at the girl sitting on the first bench – raising her little hand on every question being asked by the lecturer. Any how I wanted my world to get connected with that of the 1st bencher. I started with asking her doubts. Later, I started asking doubts through chats. Later, I forgot the doubts and displayed my flirting skills 😀 I was falling for her. I guess, she knew. Finally, we started enjoying each other’s company. But then, things went off and we parted our ways. It was my innocence that I wanted to spend my most of the time with her – during our college days. But, my intention was never to give her the pain.
Meantime, when I was polishing my extrovert skills; my crazy-close friend made me introduced to her shy friend saying I should teach her how to be extrovert! How to enjoy life! Ya, I was a good adviser at that time – because I was happy-go-lucky type. I talked with that shy girl. And this time, she fell for me! She confessed. But, I wasn’t prepared for a commitment. Seeing my past with that 1st bencher, I underestimated myself with the words – “I can be a good friend, but not a good boyfriend”. And, I told NO. I gave her the pain, the tears. But what? There came a time when I started missing her. I wanted this shy girl in my life, again. I wanted her to fill my blank world. But, the time had gone.
Today, when I look back; I think I shouldn’t have talked with these girls. For 1st bencher I fell, for shy girl she fell. Both made my world filled with rainbow and I made their world black – in return.
It was my innocence to talk with them, flirt with them and then just be happy in our own formed worlds. But, intention was over-ruling here – because instead of receiving happiness, we all received pain.
Dear Hetu’s, it’s a humble request – before initiating anything, think twice! Because, sometimes the intention wins the race against innocence!