An intended sorry for an innocent deed


“Innocence” and “Intentions” – one follows the latter. If done innocently, and the results doesn’t live by the expectation then the innocence becomes intended and the situations turns EXPLOSIVE!

I had done things innocently, but the “after effect” of my deeds was not what I had expected!

I was shy at talking with girls and believe me till date – the hardest moments I face is when asking a girl for her contact number 😀 During my school days, I was at the top. The entire school knew me! But, she didn’t bother to know about me. And, I ended up in being a joker of her life. It was my fears of confessions and ego that ended our relation or we can say the obstacles mentioned above bought end to the awesome beginning.

Later, as I moved further in life I decided to act openly; let me follow the principle – FEAR the fear! And, I became extrovert. Talked with every gorgeous looking girl, asked for a pout selfie, and flirted to the extreme! I used to send kisses through chat and sometimes got even lucky in receiving the same – in real 😉 And ya, now asking contact number was just a 1 minute game!

I used to sit on the last bench during my college days, but my eyes always stalked at the girl sitting on the first bench – raising her little hand on every question being asked by the lecturer. Any how I wanted my world to get connected with that of the 1st bencher. I started with asking her doubts. Later, I started asking doubts through chats. Later, I forgot the doubts and displayed my flirting skills 😀 I was falling for her. I guess, she knew. Finally, we started enjoying each other’s company. But then, things went off and we parted our ways. It was my innocence that I wanted to spend my most of the time with her – during our college days. But, my intention was never to give her the pain.

Meantime, when I was polishing my extrovert skills; my crazy-close friend made me introduced to her shy friend saying I should teach her how to be extrovert! How to enjoy life! Ya, I was a good adviser at that time – because I was happy-go-lucky type. I talked with that shy girl. And this time, she fell for me! She confessed. But, I wasn’t prepared for a commitment. Seeing my past with that 1st bencher, I underestimated myself with the words – “I can be a good friend, but not a good boyfriend”. And, I told NO. I gave her the pain, the tears. But what? There came a time when I started missing her. I wanted this shy girl in my life, again. I wanted her to fill my blank world. But, the time had gone.

Today, when I look back; I think I shouldn’t have talked with these girls. For 1st bencher I fell, for shy girl she fell. Both made my world filled with rainbow and I made their world black – in return.

It was my innocence to talk with them, flirt with them and then just be happy in our own formed worlds. But, intention was over-ruling here – because instead of receiving happiness, we all received pain.

Dear Hetu’s, it’s a humble request – before initiating anything, think twice! Because, sometimes the intention wins the race against innocence!

Thank you – for the humble support at Hetu’s

That moment of togetherness for one last time!


Finally, I was about to reach home and break the company of soaring sun who was my sole companion for 8 kms. With all sweat, I finally entered home with a sigh of relief. My mother laughed looking at me. May be, it was my stinking sweat which made her laugh. But, then she gave me an envelope.  It read as: “Kindly delight the day with your presence on Nikchini wedding”. I, without having a glass of water directly started reading it. My heart beats were at dead speed.

Nikchini is my friend. We got introduced by our common friend who was my crazy-close school friend during school days. I used to flirt with Nikchini a lot. Being completely aware about the fact that I will not commit to a relation she still – gave birth to love in her heart. She did confess the feelings by planting a small kiss on my cheek…but, I didn’t accept the relation. It was not that I didn’t like her – I liked her and that’s why I flirted! And, I flirt only with the beautiful girls 😉 Why I told NO even I don’t know! It was because I wasn’t ready. And, I’m not ready to change the decision even if she confesses me on her wedding day! So, I should be happy seeing her wedding invitation because she had moved forward in her life, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t sad, either!

Even while being in the same city we had hardly met for 7-8 times in 18 months and had rarely made mobile communications – still she managed to develop the love! May be it was like whenever we met, we hit the right chord of relationship. What type of relation it was or it is – even I don’t know! But, we were always together – a type of “heart-2-heart connection”. While remembering my past I thought I have 2 weeks to decide – whether to go for a wedding or not?

I didn’t go for the wedding. I even forgot the wedding date. I was surfing Facebook and suddenly saw the picture of hers on her wedding day which was today. She was looking like a royal princess. That moment itself I took a half leave from the office and left for my room. I was alone. No thoughts in mind. I was blank.

Tears were dropping from my eyes – sad or happy; I don’t know! Finally, after earning courage I called my crazy-close school friend who went for Nikchini’s wedding. She didn’t pick the call. 1 call, 2 calls, 5 calls, 12 calls…but no reply from her side. I was blank again. I started weeping badly and made the 13th call.


“Hi! Het!”

“Hello my crazy-close friend…I’m missing you”

“Is my voice sounding like your Crazy-close friend?”

And, suddenly I realized it was Nikchini. She told that my crazy-close friend had gone for the dinner leaving behind the cell phone at the room itself. I suddenly started feeling happy all over again! But, was I sad before making this 13th call? – I don’t know

My tone got changed and I congratulated her for the new beginning. I even complemented her bridal look as I saw her pic on Facebook. She said thanks with a little sad feeling since I couldn’t make it to the wedding.

At the time of “bye” my heart skipped for a second but she made us stay together, forever. How? Because, she made me survive in her heart, for a lifetime – “A heart-inside-heart connection!”

Thank you – for your happy support