Random thoughts

Happyliving

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The only ice surviving the fire!

survival

The reaction to any damn situation builds up your life. Getting the unexpected can either make or break you. However, bouncing back with a bang is in your hands.

“Wake up! It’s 7 AM, Wake up!”

The alarm said to me when I was dreaming of “bouncing back with a bang”. I woke, then again slept for 3 minutes – then again woke – again slept for 7 minutes and finally woke up at 7:10 AM. Following my regular morning routine I left for the college. I entered the classroom and sat on my favorite bench – the last bench. I was popping out of the window. Suddenly, the 1st bencher came to me saying why I didn’t carry a smiling face today.

“Am I a joker to you, to class, to the whole world?” I replied, and continued to mind her own business. Actually, this 1st bencher was that girl who made me feel comfortable on my first day to college since I had joined 2 months later than the normal academic calendar. She looked as puny, who had straightened her hair. She carried a blue eyes with ocean of love, care and trust within. I loved talking with her because her childish behavior made me feel that I’m not only the one immature here. I have got a partner.

But…not today. Today, I was disturbed.

Again after 5 minutes, I received a push behind my shoulder and she said, “What’s wrong today?”

I replied, “Fuck off!”…she left saying take care.

From the window, I was looking at a young couple who were busy with parenting activity. Mother was holding the child and father was pouring water to his head. I thought, “For how long his mother would hold him? For how long his father would pour water on him?” There would come a time when he will have to become independent – no matter what the circumstances are!

Again after few minutes that first bencher came, and this time without speaking a word just sat by my side. I didn’t look at her. She was giving me a smile. I was lost in my thoughts about being independent, being matured, being true…in short, being ME. After a while, I smiled at her.

The smile was because – even after receiving such harsh words from my side, she didn’t lose faith in me. The smile was because – she caught my indifferent behavior. The smile was because – she assured me that she was by my side. As soon as I smiled, she hugged me without speaking a word. And, after receiving the hug I just told her “thank you”.

She enquired about my disturbance and I replied:

“Why? Why no one is understanding me? I say to my mother to walk for a healthy living. She takes that in the other way and says that I want her to walk because I want my freedom for few minutes or hours. I mean WTF! Can’t she realize that I will be witnessing freedom if she starts thinking that she has set me free? My father thinks I’m useless.  He is wasting money on me. I have the burden of turning this wastage into investment from now onwards! I mean how come I live life with expectations set by my parents. I have my own rights, my own choices to make. How will I be able to live up to their expectations when they don’t even know about my life, my wishes, and my thoughts! Yesterday night my father was just talking about his childhood days. How he used  to be happy after receiving Rs. 10 and how in today’s world I’m not in a state to be happy even after receiving Rs. 300 per week. I mean C’on during his age the school/college was 100 steps away from home. Today its 22 kms. There were no mobile phones so no question of recharge. Today we need money for recharge, money for data pack etc. Mother says I buy clothes, more often. Before saying me, she should have checked her wardrobe. It’s filled with sarees…in addition matching bangles…in addition matching belles! Now, you say who buys more!!! I’m tired…really tired with this everyday issues like… “In our times…we did dis..we did that….you don’t know this…you don’t know that”…Oh! Damn just give me a break. Understand that the time has changed. The Indian economy has increased. Things which were available for Rs. 5 during THEIR TIME are now available for Rs. 50… I’m really tired. I think I’m the only ice surviving the fire, seriously!”

My reply was a frustration out of irritation. I expected that I will get a solution, but instead I saw her laughing…laughing heavily. I was shocked. After a while she said, “Relax Hetu! It’s normal! These thing happens in a family. I mean this should happen. It’s not about only your family, boy! It’s everyone’s story. Take life lightly. It’s not that serious as you are expecting and stay cool. Don’t think toooo much. Relax buddy, chill!”

Ok. I stopped thinking. Because she said it’s everyone’s story. So, I was normal while behaving as abnormal.

I realized that day. We should accept whatever life has to offer with open arms. There’s nothing called as a bad day. It’s our thinking that is making the day bad or say worse. So why to think in that way, then?  It’s better to be optimistic and enjoy life!

Cheers!

Thank you – for reading the frustration in a happy way
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E-mail: het_vaghela@yahoo.com