Is it important to have Honesty for loyalty for royalty?

First and foremost, Sorry for not posting “Anything” for a while. But, HappyHETU is back, now – As always, Smiling and spreading happiness for Hetu’s.


Neither I have any reason behind writing this, nor have any frictional story. But, I just found these 3 qualities rhyming and decided to write “Something”. These 3 are the most important qualities in one’s life and we all would agree to the fact that we try hard in achieving these – for our complete life.

So, recently I was lucky enough to witness all the 3 qualities – some from my side and some from the observation. And, it was seriously a good fun 😉

We were friends for more than a year, now. Living in the same colony bought us closer. I and my dear friend Sandra used to go at office together as she was a front – end developer while I was a marketing intern under same roof. Within a span of 1 year we did share an emotional bond, pulled each other’s legs and even gifted under garments to each other. So, you may have a guess about our closeness, now!

My overall experience with Sandra helped me understand the meaning of Honesty – Loyalty – Royalty. And, I thought it’s worth sharing!

On a not so fine morning Sandra was sipping her black tea – without sugar but with teary eyes. I was watching her – specifically the hairs which were flying with the wind, disturbing the flow of tea and tears. I went to her, pulled hair behind her shoulder and planted a kiss on forehead. She gave a smile and continued with the tea. I finally enquired about the tears. She told it was today that she got divorced from her boyfriend. The how’s – why’s – when’s arose in my mind since she wasn’t married yet, then how come she get a divorce, that too from her boyfriend…!!..?? She explained me that she had been in a live-in relationship for 2 years – how they became friends, then partners and then enemies; why they lived in live-in relation, then parted ways etc. She was saying me everything in detail. Why? She needed a shoulder and I provided it. She cried her heart out to me and I happily took it with open arms. Our relation was built with trust and support and today we passed the litmus test. I promised her that I wouldn’t share her experience with anyone and even shared my secrets with her…HONESTY WITNESSED.

Gradually, things got better and she started smiling at small things. It’s true – “real happiness lies in smaller things”. The way she started dressing up – talking – cuddling – and having fun was all changed, now. She was more relaxed and joyful. May be the burden she had in her heart was no more; since she shared everything with me, honestly! My office colleagues used to get jealous of our bonding. Because we two were ruling the office – any work assigned to us got over before time. Our co-ordination and understanding reflected in our work. Later, the fellow colleagues started bitching about her in front of me. I silently heard them just to know what others are thinking about her. They told me the same story which Sandra had already shared with me honestly. I even heard that being with her will lend me in trouble and there are chances of me losing the job, too! I blew the shit with smoke and continued my friendship with Sandra. In true meaning, a real bond is something which needs to be understood between the 2 persons involved – not being influenced by others…LOYALTY WITNESSED.

Today, I got promoted in the office through performance review. Sadly, my friend Sandra didn’t achieve the hike she dreamt of. She was sad but joined my happy moment of celebration. There were times when our boss mailed me and Sandra was in Bcc. This left Sandra wounded in some or the other way because the situation was reversed earlier. 2 weeks after my promotion, the boss called me in the office and told these 6 beautiful words, “You are fired for taking CREDITS’. No ifs and buts. I was directly removed from the office. Later, I got to know from a reliable source that Sandra played the game to get the promotion. A true corporate girl who played emotionally!!! She bitched that the work which was done by us previously was because of the sole efforts of – only and only hers. Boss found her words to be honest – rewarded her with his loyalty. yes, Sandra’s Honesty – loyalty cycled continued but this time it was our boss who witnessed it and I…WITNESSED ROYALTY.

I saw to what extent someone can go to earn royalty. I learned the lesson of most important cycle – “honesty-loyalty-royalty” and left the office by saying 3 happy words, “Thankyou for EVERYTHING!”

Share your experience in the comment section below if you had witnessed it, earlier!

Thank you – Honestly, I’m loyal to your Royalty!
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The only ice surviving the fire!


The reaction to any damn situation builds up your life. Getting the unexpected can either make or break you. However, bouncing back with a bang is in your hands.

“Wake up! It’s 7 AM, Wake up!”

The alarm said to me when I was dreaming of “bouncing back with a bang”. I woke, then again slept for 3 minutes – then again woke – again slept for 7 minutes and finally woke up at 7:10 AM. Following my regular morning routine I left for the college. I entered the classroom and sat on my favorite bench – the last bench. I was popping out of the window. Suddenly, the 1st bencher came to me saying why I didn’t carry a smiling face today.

“Am I a joker to you, to class, to the whole world?” I replied, and continued to mind her own business. Actually, this 1st bencher was that girl who made me feel comfortable on my first day to college since I had joined 2 months later than the normal academic calendar. She looked as puny, who had straightened her hair. She carried a blue eyes with ocean of love, care and trust within. I loved talking with her because her childish behavior made me feel that I’m not only the one immature here. I have got a partner.

But…not today. Today, I was disturbed.

Again after 5 minutes, I received a push behind my shoulder and she said, “What’s wrong today?”

I replied, “Fuck off!”…she left saying take care.

From the window, I was looking at a young couple who were busy with parenting activity. Mother was holding the child and father was pouring water to his head. I thought, “For how long his mother would hold him? For how long his father would pour water on him?” There would come a time when he will have to become independent – no matter what the circumstances are!

Again after few minutes that first bencher came, and this time without speaking a word just sat by my side. I didn’t look at her. She was giving me a smile. I was lost in my thoughts about being independent, being matured, being true…in short, being ME. After a while, I smiled at her.

The smile was because – even after receiving such harsh words from my side, she didn’t lose faith in me. The smile was because – she caught my indifferent behavior. The smile was because – she assured me that she was by my side. As soon as I smiled, she hugged me without speaking a word. And, after receiving the hug I just told her “thank you”.

She enquired about my disturbance and I replied:

“Why? Why no one is understanding me? I say to my mother to walk for a healthy living. She takes that in the other way and says that I want her to walk because I want my freedom for few minutes or hours. I mean WTF! Can’t she realize that I will be witnessing freedom if she starts thinking that she has set me free? My father thinks I’m useless.  He is wasting money on me. I have the burden of turning this wastage into investment from now onwards! I mean how come I live life with expectations set by my parents. I have my own rights, my own choices to make. How will I be able to live up to their expectations when they don’t even know about my life, my wishes, and my thoughts! Yesterday night my father was just talking about his childhood days. How he used  to be happy after receiving Rs. 10 and how in today’s world I’m not in a state to be happy even after receiving Rs. 300 per week. I mean C’on during his age the school/college was 100 steps away from home. Today its 22 kms. There were no mobile phones so no question of recharge. Today we need money for recharge, money for data pack etc. Mother says I buy clothes, more often. Before saying me, she should have checked her wardrobe. It’s filled with sarees…in addition matching bangles…in addition matching belles! Now, you say who buys more!!! I’m tired…really tired with this everyday issues like… “In our times…we did dis..we did that….you don’t know this…you don’t know that”…Oh! Damn just give me a break. Understand that the time has changed. The Indian economy has increased. Things which were available for Rs. 5 during THEIR TIME are now available for Rs. 50… I’m really tired. I think I’m the only ice surviving the fire, seriously!”

My reply was a frustration out of irritation. I expected that I will get a solution, but instead I saw her laughing…laughing heavily. I was shocked. After a while she said, “Relax Hetu! It’s normal! These thing happens in a family. I mean this should happen. It’s not about only your family, boy! It’s everyone’s story. Take life lightly. It’s not that serious as you are expecting and stay cool. Don’t think toooo much. Relax buddy, chill!”

Ok. I stopped thinking. Because she said it’s everyone’s story. So, I was normal while behaving as abnormal.

I realized that day. We should accept whatever life has to offer with open arms. There’s nothing called as a bad day. It’s our thinking that is making the day bad or say worse. So why to think in that way, then?  It’s better to be optimistic and enjoy life!


Thank you – for reading the frustration in a happy way




An intended sorry for an innocent deed


“Innocence” and “Intentions” – one follows the latter. If done innocently, and the results doesn’t live by the expectation then the innocence becomes intended and the situations turns EXPLOSIVE!

I had done things innocently, but the “after effect” of my deeds was not what I had expected!

I was shy at talking with girls and believe me till date – the hardest moments I face is when asking a girl for her contact number 😀 During my school days, I was at the top. The entire school knew me! But, she didn’t bother to know about me. And, I ended up in being a joker of her life. It was my fears of confessions and ego that ended our relation or we can say the obstacles mentioned above bought end to the awesome beginning.

Later, as I moved further in life I decided to act openly; let me follow the principle – FEAR the fear! And, I became extrovert. Talked with every gorgeous looking girl, asked for a pout selfie, and flirted to the extreme! I used to send kisses through chat and sometimes got even lucky in receiving the same – in real 😉 And ya, now asking contact number was just a 1 minute game!

I used to sit on the last bench during my college days, but my eyes always stalked at the girl sitting on the first bench – raising her little hand on every question being asked by the lecturer. Any how I wanted my world to get connected with that of the 1st bencher. I started with asking her doubts. Later, I started asking doubts through chats. Later, I forgot the doubts and displayed my flirting skills 😀 I was falling for her. I guess, she knew. Finally, we started enjoying each other’s company. But then, things went off and we parted our ways. It was my innocence that I wanted to spend my most of the time with her – during our college days. But, my intention was never to give her the pain.

Meantime, when I was polishing my extrovert skills; my crazy-close friend made me introduced to her shy friend saying I should teach her how to be extrovert! How to enjoy life! Ya, I was a good adviser at that time – because I was happy-go-lucky type. I talked with that shy girl. And this time, she fell for me! She confessed. But, I wasn’t prepared for a commitment. Seeing my past with that 1st bencher, I underestimated myself with the words – “I can be a good friend, but not a good boyfriend”. And, I told NO. I gave her the pain, the tears. But what? There came a time when I started missing her. I wanted this shy girl in my life, again. I wanted her to fill my blank world. But, the time had gone.

Today, when I look back; I think I shouldn’t have talked with these girls. For 1st bencher I fell, for shy girl she fell. Both made my world filled with rainbow and I made their world black – in return.

It was my innocence to talk with them, flirt with them and then just be happy in our own formed worlds. But, intention was over-ruling here – because instead of receiving happiness, we all received pain.

Dear Hetu’s, it’s a humble request – before initiating anything, think twice! Because, sometimes the intention wins the race against innocence!

Thank you – for the humble support at Hetu’s

That moment of togetherness for one last time!


Finally, I was about to reach home and break the company of soaring sun who was my sole companion for 8 kms. With all sweat, I finally entered home with a sigh of relief. My mother laughed looking at me. May be, it was my stinking sweat which made her laugh. But, then she gave me an envelope.  It read as: “Kindly delight the day with your presence on Nikchini wedding”. I, without having a glass of water directly started reading it. My heart beats were at dead speed.

Nikchini is my friend. We got introduced by our common friend who was my crazy-close school friend during school days. I used to flirt with Nikchini a lot. Being completely aware about the fact that I will not commit to a relation she still – gave birth to love in her heart. She did confess the feelings by planting a small kiss on my cheek…but, I didn’t accept the relation. It was not that I didn’t like her – I liked her and that’s why I flirted! And, I flirt only with the beautiful girls 😉 Why I told NO even I don’t know! It was because I wasn’t ready. And, I’m not ready to change the decision even if she confesses me on her wedding day! So, I should be happy seeing her wedding invitation because she had moved forward in her life, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t sad, either!

Even while being in the same city we had hardly met for 7-8 times in 18 months and had rarely made mobile communications – still she managed to develop the love! May be it was like whenever we met, we hit the right chord of relationship. What type of relation it was or it is – even I don’t know! But, we were always together – a type of “heart-2-heart connection”. While remembering my past I thought I have 2 weeks to decide – whether to go for a wedding or not?

I didn’t go for the wedding. I even forgot the wedding date. I was surfing Facebook and suddenly saw the picture of hers on her wedding day which was today. She was looking like a royal princess. That moment itself I took a half leave from the office and left for my room. I was alone. No thoughts in mind. I was blank.

Tears were dropping from my eyes – sad or happy; I don’t know! Finally, after earning courage I called my crazy-close school friend who went for Nikchini’s wedding. She didn’t pick the call. 1 call, 2 calls, 5 calls, 12 calls…but no reply from her side. I was blank again. I started weeping badly and made the 13th call.


“Hi! Het!”

“Hello my crazy-close friend…I’m missing you”

“Is my voice sounding like your Crazy-close friend?”

And, suddenly I realized it was Nikchini. She told that my crazy-close friend had gone for the dinner leaving behind the cell phone at the room itself. I suddenly started feeling happy all over again! But, was I sad before making this 13th call? – I don’t know

My tone got changed and I congratulated her for the new beginning. I even complemented her bridal look as I saw her pic on Facebook. She said thanks with a little sad feeling since I couldn’t make it to the wedding.

At the time of “bye” my heart skipped for a second but she made us stay together, forever. How? Because, she made me survive in her heart, for a lifetime – “A heart-inside-heart connection!”

Thank you – for your happy support



…અને જાણ હોવાં છતાં અમે અજાણ બન્યા!



મારા હેતુ’સ! આ ગુજરાતીમાં મારું બીજું લખાણ છે. આના પેહલા મૈ “હતું એક પતંગિયું” કરીને બ્લોગ પુબ્લીશ કરેલો. હાથ જોડું છું કે – ખોટી જોડણી, વાક્ય-રચના માટે માફ કરશો.

અમુક વાર આપળને ચોક્કસ ખાતરી હોઈ છે કે, “આ” કરવાથી કોઈ ફાયદો કે કોઈ લાભ નથી, તો પણ આપડે એ કરીને’જ રેહીયે છેએ. કારણ કે, એ સમય એ આપના લાભ કરતા આપની લાગણી વધારે મહત્વ ની થઇ જતી હોઈ છે. ઠંડીની ઋતુમાં ઠંડી-પીના ન પીવાય – આ વાતની જાણ હોવા છતાં જયારે પોતાનો છોકરો ઝીદ પકડે છે ત્યારે માં-બાપ તેની સામે હાર માની ને ન કરવાનું કરી’જ લે છે. કારણ ક, માં-બાપ થી એ છોકરા ના આંસુ નથી સહન થતા. નાનપણની વાત જવા દઈએ, મોટા લોકો પણ સમજી ને નાસમજ જેવું કરે છે, જયારે તેમની ભાવના નું જોર, વાસ્તવિકતા થી વધારે હોઈ છે.

લાગણીનું બીજું નામ પ્રેમ“. જો તમે સામા પાત્રને પ્રેમ કરતા હશો તો લાગણી તો આવાની ને આવાની’જ.

હું મારા એન્જિનિયરિંગના બીજા વરસમાં હતો. નાનપણ થી’જ ચંચલ એટલે ઉકળતા લહુંની ઉંમરમાં મને ફરવાનો જબરો રસ. શુક્રવાર, શનિવાર, સોમવાર – આ ત્રણ દિવસ કોલેજમાં રજા હતી, એટલે અમે ૫ દોસ્તોની ટોળકી, બિસ્તરા-પોટલા બાંધી ગોઆ ફરવા ચાલ્યા ગયા. ગોઆ મારા દિલ થી ખુબ નજીક છે. તેની કુદરતી સુંદરતા મારા મનને શાંતિ આપે છે. મને તમે “ગોઆનો આશિક” કહી શકો! ગોઆ વિષે એક બ્લોગ નહિ, પણ આખે-આખી લાઇબ્રેરી ઉભી કરી શકું એટલી હદએ મને એ સ્થળ પસંદ છે. આવતા સમય એ જરૂર ગોઆ વિષે લખીશ, પણ અત્યરે તમે માની લો કે, હું મારા બીજા ઘરે જતો હતો. ગોઆ પહોંચતા’જ અમે દોસ્તો અમારી પસંદીતા સ્થળે નીકળી ગયા. બાગા, અંજુના અને વેગાતોર. અમે અમરી મૌજમાં હતા. સાચું કહું તો શાંતિ મળતી હતી ગોઆમાં મન મૂકી ફરવાની!

રાત પડતા અમને ૫ મિત્રો મુંજાયા કે હવે કઈ જગ્યા એ જવું. કાસીનો જવું, કે પછી ક્લબ. બીચ પર રેહવું કે પછી ઘુવડ બની ગોઆની સફર કરવી. આવામાં અભીએ (મારો મિત્ર) કીધું કે ચલો અંજુના માર્કેટ જઈએ; નાચ્સું – પીસુ – રખદશું! અને અમારે જ જોતું હતું એ મળી ગયું. હીરો બની અમે ચાલ્યા અંજુના.

ત્યાં નું વાતાવરણ રંગીન હતું…કુદરતી તો ખરું’જ પણ આ તો તેના થી પણ વિશેષ. વિદેશીયોની ટોળકી, સુંદર છોકરીઓ, બિએર, મુસિક એ મૌહૌલ બનાવી દીધેલું. એવામાં મારી નજર એક વિદેશી છોકરી પર ગઈ. તે નશા માં નાચતી હતી, મુસિકના બેઅત્સ પર. જાને મોર વરસાદ માં નાચે તેમ તે પણ ખીલીને નાચતી હતી. મારી નજર ત્યાં’જ સ્થિર રહી ગઈ. મારી તેની જોડે વાત કરવી હતી પણ કેવી રીતે એ પ્રશ્ન હતો! મારે તેના જોડે નાચવું હતું પણ કેવી રીતે એ પ્રશ્ન હતો! એટલા માં મૈ સંભાળયું: “Excuse me, May I have a ciggerate please!” અવાજ સાંભળતા’જ મને લાગ્યું કે આ એ’જ છે. મૈ મારી ciggerate આપી. એ હસી અને બોલી કે તેને આધી ફૂકેલી નહિ, પણ નવી જોઈએ છે. મૈ ciggerate આપી બોલ્યો: “Don’t you think that we should shake our legs and burn the dance floor?”

એ હસી પડી. એ હસી એ મને પીધા વગર નશો કરવી દીધો. એને યેસ એક વાર કહયું, ૨ વાર કેહ્યું પણ મૈ એની હસી માં’જ મંત્રમુગ્ધ બની ગયેલો હતો. છેવટે તેને મને હલબલાવી કીધું: “let’s do it, my innocent bowy!” અમે મુસિક પર નાચવા લાગ્યા. હું એના નશા માં ડૂબતો ગયો. તેના હાથ મારા ખભા પર આવ્યા. મારા હાથ તેની કમર પર ગયા. ખબર નહિ કેમ પણ મને એના વગર બીજું કોઈ આંખોની સામે નહતું આવતું. તે મારો હાથ પકડી મને પાર્કિંગ માં લઇ ગઈ. મૈ જતો રેહ્યો કારણ કે, તેરી ભૂરી આંખોમાં મને તેનો મારા પ્રત્યનો પ્રેમ ચલ્કાતો નજર આવતો હતો.

પાર્કિંગ એ પૌચતા એ મારી બાહો માં આવી મને સમૂચ કરવા લાગી. મૈ પણ તેનો પ્રતિસાદ આપ્યો. તેને શાયદ નશા નો હોશ ના હતો અને મને તેનો! થોડી વાર પછી અમે છુટ્ટા પડ્યા. એને મારી સામે જોયું અને સ્મિતપણે બોલી: “Don’t worry about the kiss, my innocent Bowy!” હું હસી પડ્યો. એને મને પ્રેમથી ગળા પર હાથ મૂકી ફરી પોતાની બાહોમાં ખીચી લીધો. ફરી એ સમૂચ કરવા જતી હતી, ત્યાં’જ મૈ તેને રોકી અને આ એટલું જલ્દી એટલી નજીક આવાનું કારણ પૂછ્યું! તે ફરી હસવા લાગી, ખબર નહિ કેમ? પણ તેને હું કઈ પણ કહું તેના જવાબ માં તે હસવા જ લગતી. એને જવાબ આપ્યો કે એનો boyfriend છેલ્લા ૩ વરસ થી ગોઆ જોડે આવતા. આ વરસ તે એકલી આવી હતી કારણ કે તેના boyfriend નું કાર અકસ્માતમાં નિધન થઇ ગયું હતું. હા, આ બોલતા તેની આંખ જરૂર ભીની થવા લાગી હતી. મને ખીલતો સમુદ્ર ત્સુનામીમાં તણાતો દેખાવા લાગ્યો હતો. એટલે મૈ તેને બોલતા રોકી અને ગળે લઇ લીધી. તેના માથા પર કિસ કરી મૈ કીધું કે, “હું માફી માંગું છું તમને તમારું ભૂતકાળ યાદ દેવડાવા બદલ”. એટલું બોલી હું ચાલતો થયો. ૫ ડગલા દુર ગયો હતો ત્યાં તે બોલી, “I need you!”.

મારી આંખોમાં આંસુ હતા, મૈ રફતાર થી તેને પાસે જીઇને ગળે પડી ગયો. તે રડવા લાગી અને ખબર નહિ કેમ મને પણ રડવું આવી ગયેલું. એ બોલી કે તે તેના boyfriend ને “my innocent bowy ” કરી બોલાવતી! આના થી ખબર પડી કે અમારી મુલાકાત માં કેમ તે મને આ કહી બોલાવતી હતી. My innocent boy બોલી એને ફરી એક વાર સમૂચ કરી દીધી. આ વક્તે મૈ પણ સામે કરી.

એટલા માં મારા મિત્રો આવ્યા અને મારે જવાનું થયું. તેને શાયદ મારા વર્તન થી સમજાઈ ગયું કે હવે છુટા પડવાનો સમય આવી ગયું. હું હજુ કઈ કહું એ પેહલા તે બોલી “Thank you for bringing back…my moments” અમે વચન આપ્યું કે એક બીજાના સંપર્ક માં રેહશું અને પછી હું ત્યાં થી રવાના થયું. તે see you soon બોલતી બોલતી હસતી પણ હતી અને જોડે જોડે આંખો માંથી આંસુ પણ ટપકાવતી હતી. મારી નજર તેના ચેહરા પર એ’જ સ્થિર રહી.

મૈ વિચાર્યું શું મૈ ખોટું તો કઈ નથી કરીયું ને!! શું મૈ કોઈ ની ઝીંદગી તો નથી બગાડી ને! પણ મારી વિચારધારા નો એક એ’જ જવાબ હતો…તેની હસી. આમ અમે જાણ હોવાં છતાં અજાણ બન્યા!

Thank you – for having 5 min read at Hetu’s


Why did she put…a Bindi?


“Look, I can’t marry you!”


“I know, we are in a 5 year relation but now the time has changed. Before 5 years when we knew of love – it was about you and me. Now when we think of love – it’s about your family with my family. We already have had given the shot in convincing our parents, but failed desperately. Moreover, neither you nor I wants to elope! So, why to be in a relation and get hurt. Its better we part our ways and never meet again, INTENTIONALLY”

“Just meet – for the last time – once for all!”

<No reply>

This was my second last conversation with the girl I loved via text message.

<The next day>

I was having a chocolate flavored ice-cream at our college canteen and suddenly my love passed by at the counter to grab her daily meal. She noticed me and I noticed her. Watch out it was just a game of NOTICING. Her expressions said it all. She wanted to talk but didn’t, after noticing my response on seeing her. I noticed her but acted as if she got unnoticed. Yes, I noticed her – she had put a purple eye-liner to cover her dried eyes. Her mole which is perfectly placed below the corner of the left eye shined bright in the sunny day.  I used to tell her that the mole acted as an added ingredient to the already cooked tasty dish. Her face was sad but her plastic smile acted as a catalyst to hide the situation. But, today she looked different. Because, she had a small black bindi put on her forehead. Why?? I didn’t know the reason and wanted to enquire. But how?

Finally, I decided to take a further step and stood along with her in the waiting queue at the counter. I asked, “Hi, wassup..? You are looking dull today!” Even when I knew the reason of her dullness I still asked since I didn’t find any other topic to initiate the conversation. She nodded for my Hi and threw a light smile in response to the question. The smile said it all. It was a fake smile and I was the reason for it. I was the culprit. My heart skipped a bit. We both went in the “silent mode”. It was a situation where on one side, I was eager to know the reason for why she has put a bindi and on the other side I have ended our 5 year relation saying we would not talk again. And today, it was me approaching her for a talk!

I questioned, “Why have you put a small black colored bindi today?”

She waved a laugh. May be, it was real this time. Because with her laugh I had a sigh of relief. She replied, “Bindi is just an added beauty. Many a times when I put a bindi, I receive positive complements so I thought of having it today. Just to hide my wet tears and withered face. (Smiles). Moreover, the bindi is YOU.”

“Ahhh…….ok…anyways bindi looks pretty on you. Ciao…got to go…. At Basketball court”

“You don’t need to tell me where you are going, from now onwards. Hope you realize it”


I left. She took her plate, sat with her friend Rashmi and Alwa. I noticed her taking the seat – grabbing the meal – throwing fake smiles at regular jokes…because I was watching her.

Cherishing the last moments…somewhere between the happy – sad feeling, I left her forever. But really???

<After 15 years>

While taking out time from the regular office hours for having pizza with a coke float, later followed by a cigarette makes you feel like a heaven. I was on that heaven state. Suddenly, I saw a woman with a maroon kurta having blue design, ordering something at the counter. Her bangles made the voice whenever she had a hand movement and the voice softly mingled and jiggled with the sweet tone of hers. It was like a song for me! The soft, yet curly hairs were tried with a regular black juda stick. I could figure out the length of her hair to be longer in size since it was roughly tied, so few opened up. The rough attire of hair smoothed the aroma of that woman. She turned back and suddenly smiled looking at me. I smiled with a lot of joy because it was her….my college love.

Without having a double state of mind, she came to my table…took a long sip from the coke float and said, “What is my cool boy doing in this hot sunny day!” My heart started dancing to the song which was the composure of her bangle plus voice. My mind stopped thinking. My body got energized and my voice got dead in excitement. She even referred me by the same reference she used during college days: “My cool boy”. I could not imagine of anything. Sometimes there comes situations in life where you want to share and talk a lot but couldn’t. Because the excitement and joy have already overtaken the mind and soul – after meeting the person of your need, want and desire. I just smiled in happiness. Happy tears rolled down form her eyes and suddenly a big tear from left corner, passing from her mole started to fall. I wiped off that tear because after 15 years I didn’t want to see a tear even if, it was a happy one. She smiled with cry, and I cried with smile!

Later, when we were in talking state she told me about her marriage and scolded me for not attending the function. I lied her with the reason for not attending the marriage and got caught immediately. But she left the topic in between since we didn’t want to put ourselves in the “silent mode”…at least for this time. Then we talked a little. Remembered our college friends, the trips, the fun and our cherished moments. Suddenly, I saw her bindi. She had put a small black bindi. Yes the bindi looked same as the bindi which I saw 15 years ago in the canteen for the first time. And above it, was a maroon colored one…a little bigger in size.  I asked her the reason for the bindi. She got slightly irritated. I loved her state of irritation because she looked sweeter while throwing irritating expression.

She replied, “Errrrr….why you are behind my bindi…sorry our…Errrrr….all the time. Look, the maroon one is matching with my kurti. Moreover, married Indian woman wears bindi. It has become a fashion statement, too. Am I not looking more beautiful with this bindi? I’m, right! So, I have put a bindi. About the black colored one. I have told you before. I guess before 15 years. The black one is YOU. Now it has become a regular routine and can’t get rid of it…Ok…is it enough of the explanation…about bindi…Mr….or should I need to say more…rather shout more”

I laughed, she joined and suddenly we heard, “Order no. 13 ready”.

She waved a good bye and left. We promised that I would leave my children at her home while I and my wife go for shopping. She agreed and told she would also follow the same. We promised to be in contact and moved towards our schedule (Rather life) by a formal hug and a smile.

I went to the office. The 1 sentence that haunted me was “That bindi is YOU”. I mean why me? What is my relation with the bindi. I googled and found why Indian woman puts…a Bindi. Found many reason but the strongest reason which was relating me to the black bindi of hers was:

A bindi is a dot applied in the center of the forehead close to the eyebrows. The area between the eyebrows, the sixth chakra known as the ‘agna’ meaning ‘command’, is the seat of concealed wisdom. In yogic science, this spot is considered as one of immense power, often called as the third eye. The moments which normal human eyes fail to see gets captured through third eye. It is the centre point wherein all experience is gathered in total concentration.

There we go…She related our relation with a small black bindi. The day I saw her with a bindi was the 1st day after our break-up. She wanted to preserve the moments, she wanted our love to live forever and she wanted to capture all of me in that particular bindi. Today, I realized the power of that bindi. Even If I tried to kill over my love, it was still alive in that bindi. She kept it alive. She has protected our relation, till date. I was shocked in happiness. Why? Because, she accepted my decision with respect and preserved our relation with care. I thought of being culprit but recognized I was never seen as a culprit by her.

She understood and accepted me for whatever I’m.

Bindi was the new symbol of love-trust-care for me, NOW.

Thanks Hetu’s for reading this particular looonnngggg blog post. And, a request to all the females out there – Wear a bindi!! I bet you will discover a new…YOU, looking more beautiful. And, surely the bindi will add more charm to your overall attire!

Thank you – for Hetu’s for knowing about Bindi